Christmas: approach with caution

As with most things in Dubai, my second festive season spent in the desert was a spectacular, yet all too brief, firecracker of a celebration with a slightly surreal edge. Blink (or should that be drink?)...and you'll miss it.

This year I spent the day with 14 other Christmas orphans, and it was actually pretty magical. We had a table in the garden that was sprinkled with glitter, the obligatory Secret Santa, a festive feast and more wine than you could shake a cracker at. I missed my family -although I genuinely think they appreciated my slightly tipsy wake up call from 3,500 miles away - but had a truly fab time with friends (and people I didn't know but was drunk enough to befriend pretty quickly).

Highlights include:

- That first make-or-break glass of bubbles
- The real life dancing elf-in-a-box sent round to apparently 'woo' a girl (for future reference - it didn't work!) and the truly terrible Dubai version of 'Ten Days of Christmas'
- Sitting in the sunshine thinking of friends and family back home, and - later on - cowering from the rain, thinking of friends and family back home!
- Christmas dinner - delicious
- Cheeeeeeeeese....and lots of it
- Discovering secret psychic powers - don't challenge me to a game of charades!
- Getting locked in the toilet (but relieved to find out how quickly I was missed - aaaahhh)
- Finding sparkly bits of table decoration that got EVERYWHERE!
- That sodding talking parrot pen!

And finally....

- Having all of this fun on Christmas Day and still having gifts to unwrap the next day!